when all things come together

November 22, 2011

i dont know where to begin to describe my journey for sea games 2011.
maybe lets start from the beginning :)

never thought i'd be speed climbing or much less climbing for singapore in such a near future.
speed climbing was always an adriel-thing. haha.
but being a runner and a netballer, i guess speed does give me an edge sometimes.
so tried and went for a quite ridiculous speed trials for national team in the early half of this year, with only us 3 nus kiddos trying out our luck.
and being 3 and the only 3, more windows and oppurtunities were opened. for that i am grateful.

my first few runs and comps at speed were kind of a flop.
but someone once told me that the first flop was a success.
haha. think: highjump technique.
anyways, begun training for "speed", like stair runs, dynamic pullups, agility (have begun to lose abit of this after i stopped netball. :p)
started putting up muscle but upon looking at myself in the mirror last night, it kind of disappeared. hm. haha.
i guess it wasnt up till august when i got confirmed a spot in the sea games team that i REALLY started training for speed.
specifically the world record route up at climb asia.
sometimes i dont know if i should laugh or cry upon knowing im supposed to speed climb for singapore instead of boulder or lead, which were the more popular and main events.
and sometimes, i didnt know if i shd be happy that im climbing for singapore under speed versus not having one of the better climber lead or boulder for singapore.
ah.. the controversy during then. hmm.

speed training is not easy. it never was.
if you look back at me various post in the past leading up to this event, you'll see how i struggled with motivation, psych and physical exhaustion.
its not as easy as just doing fingerboard, or endurance routes or bouldering hard.
somehow, more technique is involved, more physical required to pull and fly up the wall (more than i had then at least) and definitely more mental strength.
we studied slowed-down videos of beta over and over again, mimic the moves on the ground like some weirdo.
force ourselves to keep going on the wall as fast as we could.. sometimes till we feel dizzy or feel like puking or just feel plain shit.
its not easy.. and whoever said speed climbing is nothing much should try to TRAIN for it.
even for track.. it may seem like just double dynos and running up the wall as fast as we can..
but well, i think about the breaths i take, the amount of pull i have to take to reach the next move, the drop knee (bad habit), the minute kick of the feet into the wall so that i dont slip.
all these, while moving as fast as i can, making fast decisions to catch the 5th or 7th rung, focusing on the route up ahead, focusing on the constant unchanging visual stimulis that my body has to react to.
luckily it lasts for about 15 secs each time.. haha. but still.. the mental load i attritbute to speed climbing is more than what i have experienced climbing other events.
so during the time the team trained for this past 3 months, i cut down my timing for speed record from 16 to 15 to constant 14 to 12 sec.
i changed beta upon beta, made terrifying jumps that scared the shit out of me in the beginning but flowed and swung like magic in the end.

really got to give it up for adriel, who is always portrayed as the bad guy who steals away my boulder time. haha.
unwavering on the determination to train and train, giving up on boulder and training for boulder.
despite this, given the glory of a podium finish in SIM!
oh how i dreaded the times when i had just begun to warm up to do hard boulder routes in the gym when its time for speed training, dragging my harness and soggy shoes down to the speed wall and setting up the rope. :p
but still i did, cos i knew i had to train. no one was gonna climb for me other than myself. and no one could help me best my time other than myself.
of course towards october the rains started coming in and it was just a dip in the morale whenever we wanted to train and we couldnt.
time was of the essence. it was never enough. to train or enough to speed AND boulder. so i had to sacrifice one, unwillingly.. but still had to.

i was never fast enough for myself when i speed.
always faltered and hesitated abit on the footholds, the inflexibility to step high and carry my momentum.
the extra pull from the arms to fly abit higher or the fast twitch muscles which i felt that i lost over time from running to many 10km races.
i beared the mentality that my 100m sprint was always the best at the start and my legs turned to constant, enduring motion after awhile, like striding instead of sprinting.
but looking back at my runs during SEA games.. it seems other wise!

my first event, i took part in place of binbin who couldnt make it in time.
it wasnt one i was banking on, for i tried it before and just wasnt powerful enough for it.
but my timing from the qualifiers to the 3/4 placing went from a high 14, to a low 14 to a 13 and then a 12!
was aiming for a 11 like during IOXC, but my slip in the beginning threw my momentum off. only managed to regain it halfway..
even if malaysia did not slip off the track, i daresay i would be able to reach the top first still.
not to say that my intention was to compete against janice.. but i truly tried my best (although not the best i have done before) and was pleased that somehow it worked out.
my warm up regime from trial and error during training at climb asia seemed to work. i was ready, prepared to speed and psyched. :)

my team event started off shaky. the practice runs were so-so. although smooth, i was worried for binbin since she hadnt practiced on the route yet.
plus i was the last climber and all the pressure kept mounting. unneccessary baggages i place on myself. tsk.
during warmups, my starting runs were misstepped, not 100% accurate and simply not perfect.
qualifiers saw me slipping up and hesitating. fear of binbin falling off. and i was really feeling like crap.
so janice talked to me, plus zaki and adriel and binbin. i told them i felt the pressure.. and they said they felt it too.
we were gunning for the silver, pretty obvious comparing our other competitors to ourselves. i could almost smell it! as long as i dont make a mistake.
you see, speed climbing is about perfection. about no mistakes, no faltering, no hesitation, no hang-on-a-jug-and-shake-off, no clear-ur-mind-breath-deeply-and-psyched-while-you-chalk-your-hands. its just, GO GO GO GO GO!
by knock out rounds, i was still feeling uncertain and jittery.. zaki managed to talk to me for awhile and gave me some morale booster.
all unfortunate events aside, i sped up the track smoothly, almost with ease. but more so with urgency :p
but i must say that my heart dropped like an atomic bomb when i saw that binbin went before the green light.
epic day for my little heart that day.. watching the guys climb and also experiencing my climbs. haha. ;p

after the drama for the speed relay, nearly wanted to evaporate into thin air when they said that the womens speed record event might not take place coz salfarina was injured and there wouldnt be 4 countries minimum to take part in the event. :(
heart drop X 2.
managed to talked to aizan and somehow the event carried on, giving a disqualification to the absent msian.
shaky start indeed. emotional rollercoaster. after all that i had trained for the past 3 months, sacrifices and sweat that ive made.. it almost ended up being nothing.
i prayed ever so hard to let the event carry on and it did. Amen!
competition jitters took over for awhile, with me constantly asking myself how come i couldnt go faster and hit my 12 this whole time.
up until i was sitting on the chair waiting to start, and evi from indonesia, an experienced climber (who had seen me do my runs during practice days) told me not to worry. that it was just me and the wall.
and it was. i liquid-chalked my hands, chalked up, walked out looking serious and focused and was absolutely ready!
during the knock out rounds against the indons, i truly did feel like i could best her timing!
but well, i just plainly didnt and it was me and janice for 3rd and 4th. haha.
once again, and since it was my last climb, i pushed for this climb and with a teensy amount of aggression, broke the 13 barrier to hit my 12 again.
so jud was happy and contented for fighting it out for this bronze.

here i am, with 3 medals, all bronze. almost 1 silver. but contented.
someone once told me that God will give us what is enough to glorify Him.
despite a silver, all these is truly enough and more than enough.

i really want to take Climb Asia and Onsight for really supporting us and lettings us use the walls and facilities.
the speed wall at Climb Asia or even the grand stand at Onsight. all helped to mould us into SEA games medalists! haha.
will be forever grateful. :)

--------------

on events outside of my participation, a little brief summary on what it was like at the site:


the whole layout of the area was good, quite open. no walls blocking each other. but it also got the sun, and abit of rain when it did.
but the boulder wall was simply fantastic. the nice, open and colourful kinda layout. i like :) plus quite 3D also.
oh how i wish i could even try the routes there.. but well. we couldnt unlike IOXC. haha.
anyways, the crowd was much noisy and rowdier compared to IOXC. haha. love it when the audience's voice mimics the climbers moves. every awesome move or unfortunate fall. haha.
it was still quite awesome to watch. :) especially when sueann finished the route that no one else finished? yea.. we, or at least the singaporeans cheered like mad! haha.
so proud of her man!

then came the lead events, which frankly speaking was boring to watch other than our own climbers. haha.
especially when everyone cruises through the route right till the end. :p the front kinda gets dulled after awhile.
but the anticipation watching our climbers take their turn.. was immense!
i just kept quiet and silently mutter on my breath "allez" for fear that my words will cause them to fall off. haha.
in all, i think zul really deserved his medal. his climb was great and really steady.
props to suz and sue for trying their best! can see the disappointment in their faces when they came down. :p

other than all these, i watched the 4x400m and 4x100m relay for track&field.
really miss running these relays. haha. somehow, not as exciting to shout to compared to climbing. hahaha.
ive met friends with the physio and the sports doc..
the food was that fantastic but had to make do. but on days that i won smth, somehow God knew what i wanted and i had tom yam soup for dinner with my plain rice. yay!

so well, this is THE big game that everyones talking about and wanting to go to.
good experience really. dont ask me to sum it up in one word or i would have done it already.
its just big coz the whole of singapore recognises it. its an honour to participate in this though.
esp when the waterpolo guys mutter to themselves behind us in the line as to how come we sport climbing but all so small size. haha.
i wont deny that i want more of this.. if oppurtunity permits. :p

you know, when i brought back the bronzes at the airport and saw gymnastics carrying their gold. oh, how shiny it was and i really wanted it. envied their gold, and jay's silver medal.
but then i thought to myself that this shdnt be my focus and the reason im competing. had to ground myself back to the basics.
really had to tsktsk-ed myself. i should be more than contented with what i already have! and so i am.
so i'll say this once again, to remind myself that i shouldnt compete to climb for medals or winnings.
i climb because i love it. i love the adrenaline, the excitement, the rush, the change, the experience. the falling, the moves, the pump, the psych, and the people.

im not good at ending stories and this story certainly isnt going to end just yet. :)
till next time! or actually, after asian continental champs in china this dec! haha. woohoo!

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