grumble grumble.

just back from speed training today.
the pressure i put on myself... i dont know why i do it.
managed to hit 2 runs with a 12+.. but the subsequent ones were bad, and simply not perfect.
i realise i cant pull myself together on this.. my thoughts just go haywire after that.
kept pushing myself to do a perfect set, a fast 100% effort run..
but it just ended up in bad knocks, slips and poor combinations.
argh. frustrating indeed.

i want to do this, i can do this....
but sometimes i think.. its time i start playing and stop training.
its time to love it for what it is and not because i need to do it (although i really do).

i need to get out of this bubble.
listen to my body.
i think i beat myself up too much over this. keep pushing myself, physically and mentally. rushing into getting the perfect run..
sometimes i feel like taking a break. but i cant, because i refuse to believe that judith ever gives up on anything.
because i feel like theres so much to do but i have no time.
because if i dont push myself i will never get it right.

sometimes.. i wish someone would just push me instead.
so that i can just follow and suck it up, and i dont need to psyche myself and waste whats left of my mental strength.
i want to climb happy.. but i dont know why i keep thinking abt all the negatives.

report for ioxc 2011 in palembang indonesia!!

i dont know where to begin! haha. hmm..
im accompanied by binbin, janice, adriel and fel for this competition. :)
mostly us speeders cos there wasnt any lead wall at palembang although i didnt know why the others didnt wanna come to compete in boulder too. :p
ok, the flight there was uncomfortable. take it from me, ive flown many budget flights to thailand and malaysia but this airline tops it all. :p
poor binbin had motion sickness? and we had the last row seats which could not recline.
bleh.



we reached soekarno-hatta airport in jakarta to be greeted by A&W!!
but no time to grab a float. :p but aizan bought krispy kreme.. but none were original glazed. haha.
next we transitted and reached SMB airport in palembang by afternoon!
greeted by the IOXC banners:


beginning to feel really excited!! haha. :)

we stayed in a hotel called Hotel Duta, with huge rooms which could fit all 5 of us. :)
there was wifi and we-who-cannot-live-without-internet singaporeans were always seen with our smartphones out. hahaha.
the other atheletes from the various countries were staying there too..
there was malaysia, philippines, thailand, indonesia and india.

anyways, the first day was spent lobo-ing away.
we went grocery shopping, bought grapes and yoghurt and stuff..
then we discovered the nice eating place called arema 99, where we had our daily share of crabs and ayam goreng!
indonesian food is not bad. haha. i like the rice and chicken.. once in awhile there is soup..
but i did miss yu pian tang and eating fried carrot cake after awhile. haha. :)
coke was sort of.. sparse around there.. haha.

we had 1 practice climb day.. which we only spent 2 hours under the sun trying out the speed track route. haha.
we made the mistake of leaving around 11am.. where the sun was up and the venue had NO SHELTER. haha.
even the indons, who were there early, took to shelter after awhile while we baked under the sun trying out the track.
we were slighlt sunburnt and defintely red like a lobster after that.

the first go at the track route was really smth different.
it was... scary? seeing who the indons just run started and step up vertically.
i had a few test runs myself and had to psyche up to tell myself not to trip or anything. haha.
but after awhile.. it got better.
although the rungs werent as juggy as i thought it would be (i think so the climbers wont have flappers..), i got used to it after awhile.
had to watch the other climbers and remind myself a few tips when im climbing.
had to make sure my stepping was perfect so i wont skip a beat, that my arms werent too close and had to be slightly abit opened up so i wont be too far from the wall.
and of course, breathe and not hold my breath.
we all got it after awhile. :) took videos and counted our steps... but we had the frequency, but lacked the power to fling ourselves up the wall. :p



qualifiers day: it was hot. AGAIN.
practise run in the morning coz fel and the msians didnt get a chance to practise.
after that, we went back to the hotel to chill, enjoy aircon and take a nap.
the competitions in palembang dont start till around 2+, 3pm.. yea.
even the skateboarders, BMX-ers and skaters were hanging out in the hotel coz it was too hot out. :p haha.

now, the indon speeders really do take their warm up seriously.
i think its time i start to take mine seriously too.
their warm ups are always longer than ours, and they really stretch and run..
i feel so ill-prepared at times. tsk!
anyways, we had 2 gos at the track wall and they took our best timing.
i did my bestest? on my first go, but fell at the top for the 2nd. sigh.
hit about 11:39 secs for my first speed track..
i had wanted to go faster for my next, but as i tried to widen my reach each time i pulled, i guess i forgot abt my legs and it just got messed up.. and then i slipped. :p
sigh. knowing my ever slimy and wet hands.. it really is inevitable. i was super cautious after i messed up, but i slipped!! arghh... efhewofnkdlnlfadsa.
but gd thing was that i clocked a gd timing before that. phew.
that placed me at no. 10 qfy..

by the time it was time for boulder, i was feeling abit tired and shag from the hot sun and speeding (although i only spend like 30 secs on the wall? haha)
but by the time we started, it was dark outside.. and we had spotlights on the great boulder wall:


haroz says they reused the wall from last year. haha.
but i still like it coz of the many contours. haha. really cool.
did you know that they change the triangle volumes after each category? yep. so OW and OM qfy routes use different volumes. but the time they took to change the routes was abit draggy. :p haha.
anyways, the list went alphabetically.. and i was feeling lethargic when i started. :p
we had 5 routes, 5 mins each.

route 1: the first few moves were powerful, with tiny tiny footholds spaced out and my poor footwork gave out on me as i attempted to move left over the bulging out "i" frame. haha. lucky my first route siaaaa.. so i could still hang on. :) i reached the last tile, only to realise my arms were failing and i couldnt undercling the tile to reach down and out to the ending tile. sigh. what is thisss??? hahaha.

route 2: i got tricked the at roof part.. think i lack practise on this kinda surfaces. :p for some strange reason i couldnt get around to holding the tile on the roof in a proper manner for me too reach out. sheesh. by the time i reached the last tile again, i was too pumped even though it wasnt a crimp but a decent-enough hold. sigh. plus the last move was abit more poweful and frontal again, and i couldnt make it up with my height (plus point for being taller than indons not so plus after all. haha).

route 3 and 4: after feeling crushed from the failed 2 routes previously, i heard janice, who was before me flash these 2 routes.. and i knew i could do it too! and i did. haha. :) route 3 was a bridgey kinda route which we always get in local comps for OW and the last route.. somehow had a sidestep. haha.

route 5: i think everyone managed to hit the last tile, but the ending tile was really far up, and we were to throw to an undercling side pull kinda thing. :p only 2 girls managed to finish it. haha. but the front part of the route was so bad.. some mantle, some volumes. this style was alright for me. :)

in the end, i qualified 13th, tied with janice and another indon girl.
was disappointed.. coz i thought boulder was my thing. :p sigh.
i was bummed that i let my physical tiredness pull me down.
my mental that day wasnt strong. :p
only liting managed to get into the finals of 6. she tied at 1st place with 2 other indons.
theres something that she said about how some of these finalist came for our local comps and didnt even make it to the finals coz their style of climbing was really different from ours. that kinda made me feel better now.. heh. (blame the climbing style. tsk)
guess i shdnt be too hard pressed on myself for not doing well. :p allez jud.
alex johnson doesnt always get into the finals too..

(fast forward: heres liting during the OW finals. looking abit stress? but thats our queen our there! the competition was really intense and no doubt the other indons were REALLY sick strong. if you though liting was good, wait till you see the indon girls! they're like female ponti(s). hahaha. liting got 4th in the end. well done! she really put up a good fight man!)


finals day came.. and as usual, the events started only in the afternoon so we all slept in. haha :)
first up was the Mens boulder finals. which brings me to the hype and psych that does on at our venue..
the extreme sports really had it good with emcees and crazy music. plus the stunts were crazy and awesome to watch. everyone was crowding around there..
but back at our majestic ioxc wall... not a sound. not a blip of music or amplified voice other than to prepare the next climber.
this competition was really.. non-psyched. haha.
i dont know how the guys can do it man. i guess its all in the mind.
anyways, back here in sg, i doubt there was ever a time when OM was before OW. haha.
but this time, it was. haha. and i guess not much attention was given to our side of the venue. quite sad. only time when we hear anything at all, was when miel or zam climbed. and the msians and singaporeans would cheer and edge them on.
miel qualified 6th and was always the first to go. with no pressure.. he eased up the wall. no kick at all! he won in the end, with zam coming in 2nd.
i'd like to climb like that.. no pressure at all. but sometimes i know we cant avoid it. just gotta tackle it and take in in our stride then!

speed finals was disappointed for me. being 10th our of 16.. i was somewhere in the middle and definitely had a 50-50 chance at getting into the top 8. it was a knock out round and as long as i didnt fall.. it would be good!
and i didnt fall! but my movements were retarded. hahaha. yea.
i say that because my legs and hands werent doing what i did the day before during qfy..
they werent flying up the wall, pushing off and really moving consistently. it was horrible!
i think my lack of practise before hand (as in during the qfy day) really brought my timing down.
both runs were about 15 secs.. 4 secs slowly. thats like 30m of sprinting distance.. or even 1/3 of the track wall. sigh.
i knew i could beat my opponent.. but my nervousness and lack of "feeling" my moves really threw me off man.
my steps were smaller and my arms didnt even straigheten to throw for the rungs.. it was too... cautious! argh.
adriel on the other hand did an aweoms 7.8 personal best. haha. (y) but he fell on the 2nd run.. :p
so we all didnt really win anything. :p felt down about it. but.. oh well.

anyways, i enjoyed my 5 days with my teammates!!
haha.
we always cracked each others back at night and gave each other massages. lol
the ache from the day before seems to accumulate man. pfft..
im so going to bring an icepack and heatpack for sea games. haha.



to end this all... im even more determined to train for speed.. i feel that we still have a chance! (although our asses got kicked up most of the indons there.. sea games is only 2. :) hahaha)
plus im gonna try to maintain my finger strength and boulder.
cos i guess it kinda keeps me happy and reminds me of why i keep climbing.
much as this comp brought disappointing results, it brought me much more experiences competing overseas. :)
i want moreeeee!

over the weekend, i went to malaysia for an invitational comp @ The Curve. :) got 2nd for SBL so i got invited by CA to take part in this comp.
about 7 of us went up to KL to compete in the Zenergy Boulder Craze.
it was awesome. haha :) first time im competing in a boulder comp overseas!
was really excited and looking forward to it all week. more to come i hope! :)

the few of us singaporeans in busy KL!


took a late night bus up with hakeem and dennis and kinda just read my book during the whole bus ride. haha
tried to get some shut eye, but despite the nice cushy spacious seats, i couldnt seem to get a gd spot. :p oh well.
reached Times Square and immediately headed for krispy kreme already.
we 3 musketeers just sat down, ordered 2 donuts each and stoned for awhile before taking a cab towards our hotel.

accoms were paid for along with transport to the mall.. me and dor had our own room coz liting went to stay with marcus. but everyone complained of hard pillows the next day. haha.

woke up the next day feeling sleepy and met fareeda from thailand. i guess she was there at BA this yr when she saw me, but for the few moments i was kinda stunned and stoned when she came up to say hi to me. haha. still in a sleepy mode i guess, not that i was trying to be antisocial or anything.
she told me the thailand climbers went clubbing the night before. very hapz indeed.

:)


the girls were given red columbia shirts and black alex-puccio-kinda tights while the guys had yellow tops and black pt kinda shorts. lol.
in the end no one wore the shorts that we were sponsored. :p
lucky i brought my purple columbia pants. :)
the red columbia top was supposed to be tight fitting.. but we 4 sg girls kinda just drowned in them. :p compared to the other muscular ladies from hk or msia.

and we had name tags!
printed on cloth with our full name and flag.
coolshites yo.


seems like a total of 5 diff countries were participating..
malaysia, singapore, thailand, philippines and hongkong.
but just 12 climbers per category. haha.

qfys went by really quicklyy.. haha.
but the finals was really something man.
it wasnt the routes or difficulty.
qualifying first for the finals, i was the last to go.
well, its been a long time since i bouldered so this kind of comes weird to me. din know how to handle it. :p
i guess it was really a mental game, strengths aside.
6 finalists, hearing the 3 before top or even flash the route, boy, it was really demanding to keep my head in the game. :p
constantly needing to keep myself calm amidst the booming rocking music, needing to psych myself. (and chalk my hands!)
lots of thoughts and gears moving in my head when i was waiting for my turn.
was pretty exhausted mentally after that. :p bleh.

the guys who watched told me after that i had some really crazy beta going on during the finals.
heh. :p i guess i wanted to make every move count.
but i did realise that climbing more really helps.
having been speeding more and at most bouldering once a week, i din have this pool of climbing moves in my head that i can tap on whenever i read the route.
so there i was, always hesitant and unsure if my beta was really the correct one.
plus i wasnt sure all the time that i could do the moves.
yea.
i guess strength can sort of help me out in this, but next time? maybe not so lucky.. haha.
and the prize was totally wicked! haha. Columbia vouchers, cash prize and a petzl harness.. which i sold to jw the next day! ;)

but congrats to all the winners. :)
once again, i really was happy when i got 2nd. haha.
(compared to winning 2nd in east zone or nationals and knowing u made shit loads of mistakes during the game and u still feel like crap despite wearing that medal)

the atmosphere at The Curve was awesome.
lights camera and action just like the World Cups we see on youtube. haha.


back home, teamNUS was kicking a storm!
and word was going around abt jw and yix, the winners of the PCP comp happening in the region that same day. haha.
facebook was full of psych going around. and it seemed like STS is going regional. haha.

i think i wont ever forget this experience. :)

next up, IOXC!
boulder and speed! :)

glad that im breaking that 14 barrier!
best at a 13.6 now.
almost a silver. :)

just gotta maintain!
allez jud.

ultimate shiokness











my best buy was a pair of purple nike socks...
but i cant find a picture of it. :p haha